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Crossings

by Mozleigh

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Edison Angelbello
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1.
Mountains 04:32
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There's fragments of a sedative I poured the drinks into the sink The crowds I left were all too warm My winter coat in summertime There's mountains in my bedroom drawer I pull them out and water them If they could grow, then so could I I kiss the rain--I miss the skin There's exit signs I stole for years Then nailed them back because nothing changed Except the weather and the name I tuck inside my mouth; and what I want There's buildings that they formed uptown If I slept beneath, I'd hate to find The fragments that I pulled from my blood I just want to quiet down I just want to quiet down I just want to quiet down // My half steps My wet clothes I left me standing In the cold My red tongue My closed throat Stumbling on words I couldn't pronounce Like "progress" Like "regret" Follow the shadows Back to my feet I'm not falling I'm not standing I'm tripping over mountains again If I come down, When I come down, I'll shake the mud Out of the sky And grow to The mountains I can't hold onto Anymore
2.
Tile Floors 01:26
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I want tile floors And pink paint on the walls Seventeen glass doors inside A giant shopping mall where I Can go, and not feel like I'm alone. I want little kids To hold my fingers tight Tell me little fibs until I can finally write A song that's true About the ways I haven't changed. And I think it' fine Yeah; I'm okay My life's a loan My credit's great But when I'm due To pay it back I fear I'll be alone for that If God lives in The setting sun The curtain ought to Get the job done There's no use in lying We're all just dying here
3.
Existential Blues 01:47
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Woke up on the wrong side of the bed Trying to remember what I missed And most my friends agree that god is dead But for that to be true, he would first--have to exist Someone asked "man, why do you care If we're all just animals with consciousness?" They keep telling me it isn't fair But there's no such things as fair When you weren't meant to exist
4.
Crayola Car 03:01
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My car smells like cigarettes and crayola I smoked a whole pack tonight On the way home I drove straight through the red light Writing a song in my mind We sat outside talking hometowns and rehabs-- Places no one ever leaves I think that I might be catching a feelings Finally turning a leaf I like the way you say my name When you say goodbye That don't mean it's something, just means I'll keep an open mind And I think you're pretty And someone I'd like to know more about Don't mean I'm falling, just means I'll let this thing play out Remember the night that I popped out my shoulder Jumping at the rock quarry It hurt like hell, but I'd say it was worth it When you came to check in on me The next Friday night, we stayed up till morning After you fake-lost your phone I walked you back to your friends house, said goodnight Then day-dreamed all the way home I like the way you like the music that I play Don't mean it's something, just means I think you're pretty great And I think you're pretty And someone I'd like to know more about Don't mean I'm falling just means I'll let this thing play out
5.
Beach Song 01:20
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You got lungs made of iron A tongue made of steel That you stole from somebody Before you were real Bones made of silver And gold-plated wings You smoke like a chimney But you can't feel a thing Take me down By the ocean again Hold my head under water If it helps you to swim Drown me out slowly Take me by force If it makes you feels better There's no need for remorse
6.
Scream 03:40
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It feels just like a home here I think I wasted last year I just want to stay inside And tear the bedsheets through Standing in the bathroom mirror The bruises on your left ear Are black: like when you left here And fading into blue We pulled out all the dresser doors Cut our backs on hardwood floors I'm gonna be okay, I swore When you go away Your knees are bleeding through the sheets But I don't want to go to sleep When you bandage up and pack your things I want to be awake And you can stay, if you want And hurt me (like I want you to) Then drive out west And act like you're a ghost And I could bathe my lungs In gasoline until they're numb Enough to taste this blackened tongue You left inside my throat And even then, it's not enough Just knowing that I fucked it up So pour the matches down my throat I swear that I won't scream
7.
Outro (July 5th, 1971) 02:21
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On the 5th of July I kissed your head Left boxes there beneath your bed Like me, still trapped inside your chest Your ribs like walls / I tear your flesh In between your wrists, the bloody fray My body broke into a sway You disappeared inside the lake I watched you drown, I sat and Drank my tears Like bullets I went and took your things Back to your mother's house -- When you finally showed, your lips all-black I told you I would take you back Your family pushed me away The coffin fell into the grave And I swear to God, I'll break my neck; If Jesus Christ could resurrect Then why the hell aren't you still here Does he hate me, or does he just not care? My lungs are Sawed-off shotguns Thrust into my pillow Till I rust away

about

I named this album Crossings for two reasons. First, because I really wanted to use a picture I had taken of an intersection for the album art. And second--because it feels like the crossing of a bridge I've been avoiding for years. That is, putting my music out into the world in a tangible way.

I've down-talked my songs because of the incredibly talented people I've been around. I've hated on myself because I play guitar too loud and have poor rhythm. I've been self-conscious about how my voice no longer lets me reach notes I once could, how when I try to it cracks, and falsetto is harder, and a million other things. The truth is this: I'm tired of perfectionism. I'm tired of not sharing what I've created for fear of it not being liked, for fear of it not being good enough, for fear that no one cares. I didn't write these songs for anyone. I wrote them for myself. Putting them up here makes me feel like I'm no longer ashamed of what I've made.

All of these recordings were done on an iphone. The quality is, in fact, poor. The guitar is often too loud, occasionally in bad tune, and my voice is nowhere near perfect. I've stopped caring about that. Songwriting has always been about one thing to me. The words. And these words mean a lot to me. There are some serious songs here & a draft I've never finished & and a couple that are outright ridiculous. Covering everything from mental health, to heartbreak, to a concept album I never finished, I wrote these songs when I needed them the most. When I needed to put words to my internal world and create meaning and push that meaning into everything outside of me. Words are what continue to propel me forward in this life. I hope whoever is listening to this can find some meaning in the words I've recorded here.

credits

released August 10, 2020

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Mozleigh Miami, Florida

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